Last week one of my colleagues emailed to ask if I would be willing to share my testimony at their small group’s morning devotion. They are starting to do something called “Testimony Tuesdays,” as a way to encourage members of their group about how God can work tangibly in their lives. I’ve been a Christian for years, grew up in the church; surely it shouldn’t be a problem for me to share my testimony.
Yet, somehow, it took me days to respond and part of me still wants to back out of it.
In American Christian culture, we place on a pedestal those with “amazing” testimonies. Wow – that lady fought drug addiction for years and was miraculously saved when she encountered Jesus. That guy? He once was part of the mafia and used to kill people but learned that he was forgiven and loved by Jesus. That girl’s testimony is so cool — she was really sick and the doctors told her she was going to die but then she prayed and was miraculously healed and started to believe in God. Most of us know at least one person with an “amazing” testimony and, at least for me, I always hope they get called on to share, not me.
My testimony is straightforward. I was raised in a Christian home, didn’t rebel too much when I was a teenager, and really haven’t had these huge, miraculous turning points. That’s not to say I haven’t dealt with hard things and haven’t often completely screwed up, but frankly, I feel like in the realm of hard things that I’ve had to deal with, mine haven’t been that bad.
My testimony, rather, is more the story of just seeing God at work consistently, guiding me gently, holding me close, and keeping me on the right track along the way. Boring, right?
It shouldn’t be. Shouldn’t it be a miracle enough in and of itself that God actually cares enough about my life that He doesn’t simply act one time but is consistently working in and through each day? In Deuteronomy we are told that, “To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. Yet the LORD set his affection on your ancestors and loved them, and he chose you . . . For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome. . . . ” (Deuteronomy 10:14-17)
That is our God, and it floors me that He should have chosen to walk with me and guide me through the past twenty-eight years of my life. Isn’t it more than miraculous that God should have chosen me to care about, not just for a brief moment in my life but through my every day?
As I’ve been thinking about sharing my testimony, I’ve been humbled to realize that I have relinquished to the realm of “boring” what is actually miraculous. God has walked with me through the mundane and the wonderful, the challenging and the joyful. He chose me and puts up with me when I am sinful, when I am ridiculous, when I fail to remember that He is the one guiding me and in control. He smiles at me when I turn to Him and probably shakes His head at me when I try to take the helm myself.
I don’t have one of those “amazing” testimonies, but my testimony is my own, and that God would choose to be part of it is amazing.