Love at First Solitude

Valentine’s Day is coming in just a few days! Usually, my husband and I go out on a simple date. We tend to “splurge” a little more on our Wedding Anniversary in April (which is so much more meaningful to me, personally!). Of course, any day is a great day to show how much you love your mate!

Lately, I have been thinking about the importance of solitude and wanted to write about it. Then I thought how Valentine’s Day is coming, and that might not be the most popular topic. However, I’m convinced that they go hand in hand, in a very special and encouraging way.

As humans, we romanticize about how our lovers will fulfill our deepest needs for love, approval and wholeness. Then, when we fail each other, we are shocked, so disappointed, and we lose trust. However, it is important that we do not place such great expectations on our partners (and ourselves). As fallible and broken humans, we unreasonably expect each other to do something that only God can do for us. Only God can fulfill our deepest needs for love, approval and wholeness.

This is where solitude comes in. Personally, I avoid solitude because I know that there, I will find a pretty messy situation. In solitude, I see my sins, my fears, my insecurities and everything else that I would rather avoid. In a meditation on solitude, Henri Nouwen says that if we don’t run, we will also meet Him there.

Christ is there to carry the burdens we place on ourselves to be perfect lovers, wives, mothers, girlfriends, etc. He is there to drive our fears away. The cross is a constant reminder to us, that the ultimate validation is already ours. A loving King who took our sin upon Himself, gives us an approval that we could never gain from anyone.

This realization of Christ’s Love for us, should cause us to respond to each other in a way that Christ did… regardless of who “deserves” it or not, we can give and serve and love one another, from the ever-flowing well that Christ satisfies. Because our Savior did not calculate our “worthiness” of love, we, too, should give love without hesitation.

Let these truths warm you to love as you have never loved before. Happy Valentine’s Day to my single and married friends! What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

Photo Credit

About Stephanie Krier

Stephanie Krier Stephanie Krier was raised in beautiful Nor Cal. She and her husband Bobby moved to Boston in 2007, but recently relocated to a little village near Aberdeen, Scotland for her husband's grad program at RGU. Stephanie graduated from UMASS with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Social Psychology and a Music Minor. She loves to see how individuals are shaped and influenced by society. Now that she lives in the Scottish shire, she spends her free time doing a bit of gardening, blogging about her new life in Scotland (, exploring the countryside with her dog, Luther, and visiting castles with her husband!
This entry was posted in Marriage, Relationships, Theology & Philosophy. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Love at First Solitude

  1. hannah lee says:

    🙂 thank you for this, stephanie! i love this blog.

  2. Noelle says:

    Love this post Steph. Makes me want to get away with “my King” today. Thank you.

  3. Anonymous says:

    🙂 Super post!!!

  4. jeff says:

    great post Stephanie, thanks

    what you say about solitude may be true but that’s also where I find self acceptance and where the child that I was still lives & plays.

    I’ve also found that there’s a fine line between loneliness & solitude; the difference seems to be in the amount of happiness of the moment

  5. Beth Hamstra says:

    Beautiful. I love the quote “if we don’t run, we will meet him there”. Why is solitude such a difficult place to get to? Once I’m there I love it, but it is definitely a discipline! Thanks for the inspiration in this post…I’m gonna go find me some solitude!

  6. Awesome, Steph! Solitude is something not really encouraged by our culture, but the benefits are so worth the discipline of setting aside the time.

  7. i needed to read this today!!!

  8. Pingback: April Fools #13: Too Busy To Rest - On The Willows

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *